In my head with God

These past few days I've been thinking. I do quite a lot of that. Live inside my own head, reflect on this and that, consider, ponder, worry, praise. Rehearse memories, imagine conversations, read, pray, give thanks, complain. Feel guilty or contented, uplifted or sad, impressed by beauty or depressed by brokenness; these and other emotional and intellectual puzzles are the colors and sounds of that world known only to me, and God. And in the most important sense, thankfully, known better to God than to me.

So how much of all of that inner noise and silence, searching and finding, that continuous flowing of thought and feeling that is the life I inhabit, how much of all this muchness of me is prayer? Do I pray or does God pray in me? Is prayer my seeking God or God seeking me? Is prayer indeed "the soul's sincere desire, uttered or unexpressed"? As an introvert I hope so, because there is a lot of living goes on inside our own heads, and inside our own hearts, and much of it a shared secret between us and God. Interestingly I find that more reassuring than worrying: 

"O Lord, you have searched me and know me....you perceive my thoughts from afar...you are familiar with all my ways...before a word is on my lips you know it completely, O Lord."  Psalm 139:1-2

 Grace and peace, 

Anita Sorenson
Pastor for Spiritual Formation