Silent(ish) retreat

Most of last week I kept a silent(ish) retreat. I didn’t go anywhere unnecessary, I was mostly at home, opting out of the extra noise. I kept the phone virtually silent, responding to a few texts with loved ones, no music or podcasts, no television or movies. I wanted space to think deeply, to listen to my inner self for awhile. But my brain didn’t cooperate. It kept churning up weird bits of media I’d previously digested - pop songs, advertisements, movie scenes - like some kind of mental off-gassing. I began to feel uneasy, imagining my neural pathways coated with the greasy streaks of junk food culture. I considered the disturbing question: what if at the end of my life all what flashes before my eyes is an 80’s soda commercial and a scene from an Avenger’s movie? I might laugh about that idea if I didn’t recognize the way my mind latches onto such things, if I didn’t know those things were designed to manipulate my attention and stay lodged in my consciousness.

For the rest of the day, I felt the weight of these questions. How much am I shaped by what I truly value - the sacredness of God’s earth and her creatures, my relationships with others - and how much am I shaped by the noise and expectations of a world that dismays me?

Silence, or at least less noise, is a good discipline for shedding the excess that can obscure what matters most. Even in the thick of our busy lives, we can create opportunities to pay attention, listen to our lives and re-orient to the Kingdom of God underneath all the noise and distractions.

Grace and Peace,

Anita Sorenson

Pastor for Spiritual Formation